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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?